Friday, 20 September 2013

The Worlds Best Actors.

Forget film stars and classic theatrical performers. The worlds best actors work 8 hours a day, 40 hours a week 5 days a week, 48 weeks a year…
That’s right and if you haven’t worked it out it is those of us that work in retail. And now why are those the worlds best actors you may be asking. Let me tell you.
We are the ones that stand there and smile, when you are being rude or abusive while in side we are hoping that you get hit by a bus. We put up with shit and stupidity.

I once had I woman whom asked me if we had any sheep costumes, I told her yes and told her where she could find them as I was with another customer. When I went and found her there she was holding and cow costume “is this it” she asked. I politely said no and pointed out the sheep costume beside the cow costumes. And trust me these two costumes looked nothing like each other. The woman then turned to me and said “living in London you don’t see these animals look like” I couldn't respond I was partly in shock… really…

We stand there and smile like Barbie and Ken, while you give us your life story when all you want to ask us is “have you is in a small”.
What don’t you understand when I say that hat comes with the costume no you can not have completely different hat for free…
How many times do I have to say  “the web sight has more stock then we do, and that is because their warehouse is in Birmingham. And no we can not get it in for tomorrow for you. Why? Well it is 6:30 pm”

So we stand there while you get angry. Because you have come all the way from god knows where because the web sight has 30 of the item you want when the shop has non. And we smile. We apologize and try and send you away happy.

We hide how much we hate you when you tut at the price, ask for a discount, then have the cheek to hand us your black limitless American Express card.

Don’t get pissed when we say that it is 7:15 and we did close 15 minuets ago. Its just that we have a life to on a Friday night.

So when you throw your money on the counter at me, what do you expect. Your change thrown back at you. Believe me I would love to do nothing more, then to throw it at your head. But I wont. Because I am better then you and I have more respect for people then you do.

Instead when we go off of the shop floor we mone and complain call you names take the piss out of you and that box that we just jumped on and stabbed with a pen in rage we hope you feel it.

So the award for best actor goes to all those Sale Assistants.
For there performance in shops all over the world.
For the performance with that rude customer that was swearing at you, for pretending you gave a shit about that woman’s Delmar, weather she should wear blue or pink.
For the best direction of that stuck up their own ass, demanding customer who is never happy, for directing them quickly to something telling that it looks grate and getting them out in 1 hour.

They are the worlds best actors you will ever find.


Thank you .

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